Twitter John Hodgman

hodgman: "The best way to meet a 3rd Stage Guild Navigator (GNS III) is to stop the flow of spice. Then they show up quick. No more questions."

Web 2.0 is Fun!

Joey: "Oh no! Stikkit is shutting down!"
Sean: "Did someone tell them where?"

We're Going to Open a Bar

And we're going to sell only two things: Fail Ale, and Win Gin.

Great Image

Sean: "Really the better image is Cher walking up to a bar with three hundred gay guys and saying, 'They're with me.' "

English

"English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar."

Found by Miya

Ira Glass

"This has led to fewer tortillas for the poor, and unappetizing tortillas for everyone else."
From Part 3 of his Discourse on Storytelling, which I highly recommend.

WTF

"Believe in the best omnibus!"

~ Koreans

More Fun with the Cookie Gun

Jane: "Hey Dan, wanna shoot some cookies with me?"

Cookie Gun

Lincoln, while examining a cookie gun: "Wait... this causes the cookies to have shapes put into them."

NEW MEME

From Lincoln: "The Proest Ward: A Documentary"

== "The [adjective]est [noun]: A Documentary"

Penis Limit

"I'm pretty sure penises are exponential... logarithmic at least."
- Anonymous (not me, I promise)

the Serif / Sans-Serif Religious War

Joey: "Apple is like the Jesuit Order of the Sans-Serif Religion."

DotA

Joey: "I rise today in support of the motion before this house for playing a round of DotA."
Lincoln: "I move to roll noobs."
Sean: "Second!"

Taste

Sean: "Joey, you are singlehandedly delaying this upgrade by fifteen minutes or more. The complexity and sheer magnitude of your tastes requires immense computation."

Miya Comment du Jour

"Hey, there's my friend with a starfish on his face!!"

Knights of Cydonia Video

Sean: "Hey that was from the same year as the cowboy laserdisc robot unicorn holograms."

(reference)