Miya

: "I really like the word 'felony'. It's pretty. I think I would name a daughter 'Felony'."

Christmas

Joey: "Christmas is not for the decorations."
Lincoln: "Its for the Lulz."

The Concorde

Kadam: "when you line a plane with taxpayer dollars, it goes faster."

Anonymous

"No, I cant get a cosmo because then I'd have to rich Joey in the ass.". @Miracle of Science

Twitter John Hodgman

hodgman: "The best way to meet a 3rd Stage Guild Navigator (GNS III) is to stop the flow of spice. Then they show up quick. No more questions."

Web 2.0 is Fun!

Joey: "Oh no! Stikkit is shutting down!"
Sean: "Did someone tell them where?"

We're Going to Open a Bar

And we're going to sell only two things: Fail Ale, and Win Gin.

Great Image

Sean: "Really the better image is Cher walking up to a bar with three hundred gay guys and saying, 'They're with me.' "

English

"English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar."

Found by Miya

Ira Glass

"This has led to fewer tortillas for the poor, and unappetizing tortillas for everyone else."
From Part 3 of his Discourse on Storytelling, which I highly recommend.

WTF

"Believe in the best omnibus!"

~ Koreans

More Fun with the Cookie Gun

Jane: "Hey Dan, wanna shoot some cookies with me?"

Cookie Gun

Lincoln, while examining a cookie gun: "Wait... this causes the cookies to have shapes put into them."

NEW MEME

From Lincoln: "The Proest Ward: A Documentary"

== "The [adjective]est [noun]: A Documentary"

Penis Limit

"I'm pretty sure penises are exponential... logarithmic at least."
- Anonymous (not me, I promise)